Dude, It was nothing

Consumed by my emotions

I think of you

there is nothing rational about these moments

As I try to convince my mind it was nothing

my heart pumps, chest tightens

and emotion embodies my soul

but it was nothing

maybe I wanted it to be something

but..it was nothing

I was blinded by kindness

but it was nothing

It was a disillusion

I made myself believe

It was nothing

nothing but…

an addiction to the positivism emitted from your soul.


Build me up Buttercup

Building a mold around an already fragile frame takes a fair amount of endurance. It astonishes me that with all the pain us humans can endure, It ends up being the emotional pain that really weighs the heaviest. I guess its possible because it tend to linger longer then physical issues unless you’d have a chronic issue I suppose. I am speaking from my experience with pain, and through observation of social posts and acquaintances from others, whom will remain anonymous.

Though I can’t say I have completely overcome my issues, I do have to say it feels really f’ing great when you overcome a painful situation and are then able to see it from a new perspective. Even if you fall back into the negative mindset, you feel enlightened because now you know how hard you’ll fall and that you can get back up again.


Sometimes the words don’t always come out the spout, no they don’t always pour out.

They get stuck in the muck, congested.

You know when you want to write it all down, free your mind for a little while, that shit can really stir a cloud of echoing rejection.

It’s like being on a stage ready to give a speech, then suddenly forgetting how to speak, knees get weak, heart starts to beat. Your eyes gaze upon the crowd, searching for a solution, but all you retrieve is blank stares waiting for your resolution.

I feel the pressure in my neck, yea it’s weighing me down, causing a curve to my back. Sometimes it’s all I can do to stand straight now.

I feel better now thanks for listening, I’ll be back again when my mind starts drifting.


Release, Drift, Change

I need to release these thoughts from mind. so onto the paper I cry, let my words spread like vapor, freeze, and shatter into cold cold ice.

Even though I let it out, it is always with in reach, always a lesson to teach

That snow it’s beauty never fails to show, just like my thoughts never fail to flow

Sometimes I wish it could be that easy to give in and just forget that I am breathing

But I’m to self aware to quit, So i end up spending most of my days just letting my mind drift.

I truly love this life, it is rare, a blessing, a gift and I feel sick that there are days I want to quit.

But that struggle makes me aware and with that awareness I start to care, share, grow, change.

A reflection

Mirror mirror i fail to See the person you reflect when your refection …refects on me.

They use to say it was my depression, that led me to see the defects in my reflection.

I think it’s because my mind can’t link that first impression with societies suggestions.

There is a war inside ,constant conflict unable to decide, if it’s okay to like who i am, my reflection.

Society conditioned me to believe, I can never be more then what they think I should see

So each day i pick up my pen and draw those lines in, curl those curves black with ink until it’s another reflection i see, another version of the same old me

I’m not afraid to say I struggle, I’m proud, I wear it like a shroud. You can’t defeat what’s already, dirt deep, in grief.

Once was a type of destruction, now just a constant interruption.